by Rusty Fleischer, Program Director –
When I saw the topic “Well-Being” for the February Blog Carnival, the first thing that crossed my mind was “Integrated Well-Being” the last stage of the skills development on the Medol Model™ Anger Continuum. It is a stage that most of our clients reach as they go through and complete the training process. But when I went back to the original Blog Carnival email and read further, topics such as “Celebration of Love Week” and “International Friendship Week” seemed to have a stronger “calling” and connection to me. That being said, I strongly feel that all of those topics are connected and that love and friendship are definitely elements of “integrated well-being”.
To paraphrase Dr. Brene’ Brown, “We are all wired for connection. It is in our DNA.” I believe that. It is our connection and the quality of our connections with others that helps us to thrive and grow and be whole.
Part of creating strong and healthy relationships to those who are close to us is acceptance of others as they are and where they are at. That means not being conditional or trying to make someone else change, but truly accepting that person. When I say accepting, please be clear that I am not referring to accepting aggressive, abusive or controlling behavior, absolutely not, because that is unacceptable (and a topic for a separate blog). I am also not talking about understanding because so much in life does not make sense and cannot be understood and I have taken a stand that it is not my job to understand everything in life. Nor am I talking about resigning to a situation or certain behaviors because that will eventually lead to resentment which will ultimately lead to anger.
Accepting a certain person or situation often is an effort and it may not be enough to say “I accept……”. There may be “baggage” that is not easily released or trust issues that need to be resolved. These need to addressed and hopefully worked out in order to make the acceptance process easier.
By honestly and earnestly accepting, I believe that we open the door to love, friendship, gratitude and where necessary, forgiveness. This is very liberating and supports our path to “Integrated Well-Being”.
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